I've realized that he's everything I need in a partner. He's hard-working, intelligent & polite. He's shy. I can tell he doesn't have a lot of experience with dating. It's definitely a change for me, a huge, enormous, fucking change. Most of my exes are the biggest players on the east coast. I really like spending time with him. I hope he feels the same, I really, really do.
I love this feeling but it reminds me of when Brian & I first met & that hurts. Starting a relationship reminds me of when my relationship with him started, it rips me apart.But it's been too long now. I've been hiding behind the pain of what he did to me for too long. I haven't let anyone in completely, out of fear & mistrust. Maybe it's time. [<3]
written on 2003-07-20 at 7:56 p.m.
she / lost