the numbness in my lips & jaw expires, like old milk, & pain returns in swaddling arms.
a big bottle of thick, brown liquid. sweet & nauseating. it's gone, i drank it all. what have i done? i only hear/remember the hard words. i am only willing to share the half truths.
--
it was hot & june or july, the sky black, almost starless. walked across the manor grounds. eleven pm. maybe. lush green glades & paths around buildings a hundred years old & more. stone blocks, gray-black walls. flecks of crystalline so that it sparkled as we walked. weathered, cement statues & fountains. the air was thick, skin warm & waiting for kisses from the breeze. & we sat down on the earth in the middle of somewhere. some manor, centuries old & historic, though none if it mattered.
gardens, infinite. indistinguishable color in darkness. petals, crimson & black, violet & black, yellow, orange. petals with lucid veins, pumping & aching with life & color drowning in darkness.
brown & green & blue eyes corrupt edens on the daily. do not be so quick to judge.
written on 2004-12-11 at 12:24 a.m.
she / lost