now the rain is falling outside the window. i am trapped in this office. i want to be home. i want to be away. i want to be somewhere else, not here. & most of all i want to be with him.
oh how selfish i am. the ability to touch lives lingers at my fingertips; yet here i sit & write. pen to paper, paper to pen. the only way of making love that i can comprehend.
& thoughts of his face drift in & out of my consciousness. how he made me laugh. how he made me forget the pain. i told him 'thank you,' but it's impossible for him to understand why.
the last thing that i wanted, is to miss him, the way that i am missing him right now.
written on 2004-01-04 at 9:25 p.m.
she / lost