a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








don;t give up


maybe love is not a tangible entity. maybe life is not a tangible entity. maybe death is not a tangible entity. maybe i am not a tangible entity. we could all be spinning on nothing. we could be breathing in absolution or cyanide & never know the difference. everything could be what it isn't & nothing could be what it is.

there is nothing beautiful about hating yourself. there is nothing beautiful about wanting to be dead more than anything else. there is no simple explanation of how it feels to think about it all the time.

i don't want to be alone & i don't want to be alive.

ivory butterflies dance on flowers. butterfly wings tickle pink, rose petals. warm rain kisses tall, green grasses. lovers twist & sweat in the dirt. lovers make love. birds sing of what it means to be beautiful in the boughs of weeping willows. it's all very far away from here. we'll get there someday though;; we have to.


written on 2003-12-14 at 1:29 a.m.

she / lost