so thursday is thanksgiving & usually it's all about family & it is this year too, but there's something else. my best friend's family has been trying to set me up with her cousin for years. & so after i go to my uncle's for thanksgiving dinner i am supposed to be going to my best friend's for awhile, since her cousin is going to be there. & i am nervous as fuck. i don't even know why. it's not me. i don't want to go. but i do. fuck. yea i am just a big pussy & i hate change & i hate being put in awkward situations. & i am so afraid to take a risk for once in my pathetic life, that it is disgusting.
written on 2003-11-25 at 11:15 p.m.
she / lost