there were nites on the beach. there were cool waves & moon beams. we slept under the boardwalk. & i almost lost you that nite. the boy took too many pills that nite. & i held him & he cried. he told me that we would tell our grandchildren about that nite. he was like all the rest. he left me;; but i am still breathing. not quite sure how, but i can still walk. one foot in front of the other, i can make progress.
there were so many other nites. another boy. we were on a playground. he was holding me & our hot breath hit the cold air & there was steam. we were saying good-bye.
don't you see that everytime we find happiness, she leaves faster than she came. you have to see this. you have to accept this. i am trying to convince myself that i am okay. & so i am.
written on 2003-11-07 at 4:30 p.m.
she / lost