a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








silence


his eyes were infinite, like his kisses;; only they could not last forever, not for me. & i am running across the world, feet just above the ground, arms spread out like wings, gliding on the breeze & i am searching. i am searching for something new, something that will make me forget him & forget me & forget all of the crimson pain that intoxicates my soul.

i am weighed down by so much. depression, anxiety, & nightmares are more constant for me than breathing & my heart hurts so much nites, that i wonder how near the end really is. & i am not afraid;; i am only let down because i always expected something more, so much more.

& here i sit alone, encircled by broken dreams, & writhing hopes, & shattered memories. & they say that a broken heart still beats, but i don't hear a sound.


written on 2003-10-27 at 11:31 a.m.

she / lost