So class was good this morning. As they usually are. I don't have too much to complain about, well I don't have too much right to complain about them, I should say. As many times as I have heard it in the past and resented it, I choose to be here. I mean my parents are forking out about 6 grand a semester for this place, I think or a year? I don't know something like that. note: when monetary figures go over $1000 I lose most concept of their meaning. Anyway the point I was trying to make is that I am here and I may as well make the best out of it. One day it will all pay off, when I get to be the teacher .. heh heh heh ...
So anyway I am still in a pretty good mood after last nite. I think I am setting a record right now, I've been happy for about seven hours! Plus, if you include the time I spent sleeping you could say I've been happy for about 14 hours. I probably shouldn't be talking about this, but it is a friggen rarity. I am never content for this long a period of time. I usually get depressed atleast once every 2 or 3 hours. There's really no reason for this either, not that I can think of anyway.
My stomach hurts. Whoah some guy with about seven young men just walked past. He must have been giving them a tour of the library. I head him say, " Over here people hang out and use the computers. " Then they kept walking, but they all looked at me! I looked back at them. They're long gone now, but that was weird, I felt like a piece of artwork, no, well yea maybe a nasty looking piece of artwork. I think they might have been from a highschool or something they didn't look my age. Maybe they looked seventeen.
It's disgusting what I do with my free time today. I really and truly should be reading. I keep drifting off in thoughts that I am not typing. I guess I don't think that they are worthy of being put down, that's hysterical considering some of the shit that I write down here. Sometimes I feel like unless my work makes someone cry, it is worthless. Usually I write when I am depressed, so sometimes it works, but today I am just fuckin rambling on and on about the stupidest shit. I sincerely apologize to anyone who reads this. It is a genuine waste of time, both mine and yours. Ohhh well shit happens...
written on 2003-01-23 at 11:43 a.m.
she / lost