a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








that time of year


i can fill notecards up with words & pictures. bleeding broken hearts & roses, words that echo perpetual sadness. i can make lists of holiday gifts & names; lists of memories & hopes, of childhood dreams that we can't ever re-live, as hard as we may try. how many times will we ask, 'when did the magic die?' more importantly when will we realize that we are the ones who killed it?

when you're in pain, your mind wanders off into different directions. different tangents take over, anything to change the focus. you can close your eyes tight & think of bright colors, think of traffic, highways, bright lights. when you're in pain, everything looks different, more visceral. you always want to run away from it & in a way you don't. because it makes you forget the truths that are glowing around you in the nite, like hot embers in a black cast iron stove, it makes you forget.

&&i could sleep forever, but it's of you i'd dream.


written on 2003-12-02 at 12:56 a.m.

she / lost