all that i wanted was for you to grab my wrist & try to stop the blood. but instead you stuck my arm in the toilet & flushed it. so that my blood would be sucked out faster & and faster into the center of the earth.
you walked up into the center of the palace. you held your head high. you still wreaked of my blood when you chose a new queen. and when a golden platter was presented to you, you took your silver spoon & scooped up all the pieces of my heart. tell me now, how good did it taste, love?
you never told me how your parents died when you were a little boy. i am removing myself from my comfort zone. but what do I have to lose? someone once told me that it will only get worse. i think you were right. i hate to think like this, but maybe it was God�s way of punishing you. maybe he knew what you were going to do to me.
i was a little girl & someone stole my flowers. hung them upside down to dry. made me swallow dead seeds. he was going to kick me in the stomach if something was growing there.
girl why you got to be so fucking selfish? raised to fear happiness, fear 28 days, bitch. i counted the stars in the sky to take my mind off of the pain. i counted the stars & then I wished on them, not knowing that they were laughing at me all along.
written on 2003-06-14 at 7:58 p.m.
she / lost