oh, if i could build a golden ship & sail away. if i could fly into the sunset. just to escape this emptiness.
i am tired of trying to mend wounds that can not be healed; tired of chasing dreams that can not be realized; tired of building hope that will never be satisfied.
it is a sad life being a caged bird. when your soul has been stolen & your soul has been crushed & all you know is that you know nothing at all. & why do i keep looking into the darkness? i just keep turning away, but wherever i look something is still staring me back in the face. something that i can not put my finger on, but it's there. somewhere between the fear of an unborn child & the way that he broke my heart. somewhere between the realization that i am not beautiful & i never will be. somewhere between the pain & the doubt & the hurt & the loss.
somewhere something has to be waiting for me. there has to be something. because this just can't be it, it just can't be.
written on 2003-06-07 at 12:44 a.m.
she / lost