lotion from head to toe, I smell like flowers. glistening candy sweetness in coats glittering on my lips, hiding that pearly smile. none of it is real.
I haven't been much since you left me. I know I look okay. they've come and they've gone, but I haven't been much. I haven't let another person inside of me and with each day that passes, I wonder if I ever will.
it seems like I've got it all now, doesn't it? look at me accepting all these congratulations. if only anyone knew what I looked like on the inside. what all of them see is what I show them, it's what I will allow them to see. a slight sparkle in my eye. none of it is real.
I haven't been much since you left me.
written on 2003-04-27 at 6:04 p.m.
she / lost