a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








silent screams


The pain behind my eyes does not go away. The wanting will not cease to cry, will not cease to echo through out my being. Child like visions of happiness that you reach for, but all you can do is reach, they are so close. Don't you see the years of innocence stretched out in green fields before us? But it is gone, it is all gone so far away now. Finders keepers. Made me bleed. Made me want to die a thousand deaths just to get out from underneath him. Make him stop.

All that I want is for someone to tell me that it is okay. Tell me that it is not my fault.

I just keep falling through the darkness. I am falling through the thick ebony blackness. For years I have been falling. The rush is so numbing. No responses here in the darkness, no responses to my silent screams.


written on 2003-04-06 at 11:55 p.m.

she / lost