a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








sway of sadness


You will never know the tide of intelligence and pain that surges through my body. That laps upon the the warm shores of my body. If one crimson drop of my warm blood so much as touched the tip of your ignorant tongue, you would short circuit. Your body could not handle it. Could not handle the marvel, the sway of sadness whispering to the trees. You would never know it. You could never know it, any of it.

And to you who has left me. You who took my all. You who broke me, ruined me. Resentment and hatred are too strong and love is too soft. Deep cuts, deep slices who invoke dark red streams against your soft ivory palette are the only thanks you deserve. Dark red streams and pools of black, black death. I wish I could pay you back for what you did to me with that.

The loneliness that I carry on my back all the time is more than a burden. It's a deep pain. It's a deep blanket of pain that covers my shivering body only to make me colder and colder. I don't want to be alone anymore.


written on 2003-04-02 at 2:35 p.m.

she / lost