I'm back at school. Can you believe it? Spring Break is gone, gone with the wind. The ride here was nice today. It's a miracle. No one cut me off, I flipped no one the bird, and traffic flowed smoothly! I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I sure am grateful.
My bio is up at The Spark. I am not at all happy with it, it came out like shit mostly because of the fact that I guess I didn't format it properly. Oh well...
Anyway.. I have class at 9:30, it's 8:53 now. I also have to go to some meeting thing at 12:30. Over break, I got a letter inviting me to join the University Honor Program in the Humanities track. So I'm happy about that. You have to get reccomended by one of your professors and my Introduction to Literature professor, Professor Feldman nominated me. It made me happy because (I don't know I think I wrote about this already) I was starting to doubt my literary skills.
I think I have about ten or eleven people on my favorites list. Most of them don't write everyday, but usually one does, but she has been sick. So she hasn't been writing. And it's so weird because I am so worried about her, and yet I don't even know her really. Also I have another favorite who had recently had an abortion. She is fine, but I guess a couple people are giving her a hard time about it in her guestbook. I feel so badly for her. I mean I am not really pro-choice. I am more pro-life than anything, but as I have said in the past, I have five very close friends who have had abortions and never once did I try and make them feel badly about it. I am not saying that I think it's right and I know that it is something I could never do, but how dare anyone make a woman feel badly about such an awful thing, as if she is not experiencing enough guilt already.
Recently I spoke about the issue with two of my close friends who had abortions. I was saying how I completely sympathize with them, how it must have been so hard, but how it is something I could never do, ever. And they both gave me the same exact response. "That is exactly what I thought until I was put in the situation." But really I can't agree with that. I just know I could never do it. When I thought I was pregnant last March, I was completely prepared to keep my baby. I was scared to death up until the point that I found out I was not, but the thought of aborting never crossed my mind as a possibility.
My sister and I were watching the news this morning for a couple of minutes. I said that I do not understand why we have to blow Baghdad off the face of the Earth, just to kill Sadam Hussein. I have just been trying to figure out what the justification, of killing thousands of innocent people in order to kill one man, might be. She said that we have to destroy his country to destroy him. That we gave the Iraqui people fair warning to flee the country. And that their soldiers are torturing our P.O.W.'s, putting hand grenades in their mouths and letting their heads blow off; and shooting them in the legs repeatedly until they slowly die.
Everything is devastating. I think that in 1950 and before everything was a little bit more clear cut. I think that people sort of saw things in black and white. There was a clear line that told people what was right and what was wrong. I know that it kept people in the dark. I know that women didn't have much freedom and I think that religion played a huge role in determining people's morality. It seems like a foolish way to live, a very naive way to live. But really, I think I might prefer it. I think that if I lived during those times I would be foolish and naive. I don't think I would have to worry constantly about trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong. It would be spelled out for me.
But I am probably wrong oppression and naivety is probably not worth peace of mind. And maybe it wouldn't even give me peace of mind.
What an entry this has turned out to be! It is 9:15 now.. I really got carried away in thought.. I am going to head over to class now. Sorry if this is depressing, just trying to clear some things up in my head. Your thoughts & opinions would be appreciated.