a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








blahhh


This nauseous, dizzy feeling is a constant. I think it might have something to do with one of my medications. I can't be sure though. Maybe it's a lack of sleep. Maybe it's too much sleep. I don't know what it is. Everything is bringing me down. And I feel like the nicer I try to be to people, the nastier they are. I tried helping Carly a few months ago to quit drugs. She spat in my face. I tried to help Megan recently to get away from her abusive boyfriend she spat in my face. It's like I do not know why I bother, but I can't help it. I set myself up to get hurt. And today, I was trying to make someone feel better and she kind of just rejected the whole thought all together, too. It's harsh. I don't know it's pretty shitty.

Nothing else is any better. School is like a never ending battle. Losing weight is an unreachable goal, or so it seems. What else, Friday is fucking Valentine's Day, and I know it's just going to be a barrell of fun for my single ass, as usual.

Kristyn met some guy from the internet today. AGAIN ... she is starting to get like me !!! I am a bad influence. Well he turned out to look God-awful... His pic seemed decent, he had brown hair in it. Well, he ended up going up to her dorm earlier... hahahaha... He had fiery red hair and his face was absolutely covered in acne... She told me the story and I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself. It was nice to have a good laugh, it's been awhile.

Oh, yea I forgot to mention what happened to me this morning. See, I haven't missed a class yet this semester. I have been trying to keep my attendance as close to perfect as possible. Ohhhh, well this morning it was a beautiful thing that I could not go to my first class... WHY? Oh right because I could not find a fucking parking space.. It took me TWO HOURS!! Two hours to find a spot. My parents are paying $6,000 a year for this and I can't get a God damned parking space.

Oh, happy, happy February.


written on 2003-02-12 at 5:14 p.m.

she / lost