i talk to you.
i beg & plead.
i feed you sorries & pleases & you promises? yet forever you just spit them back at me.
it's as if i am nothing, never good enough.
it's as if my flesh & my love have been burned away.
i stand here before you, with arms wide open,
you turn away.
always, you turn away.
my best is not good enough, it never was.
my love, my all, i will drift away;
as i have grown so accustomed to doing.
i will fall away between the sands of time.
will you miss me?
will you ever recognize that at this moment, at this point in time, at this very position of the universe:
we are at our most beautiful.
you & i, we are as beautiful now as we will ever be.
do you realize what you are throwing away?
thoughtlessly tossing us to the side because of what?
is it your ego? is it your hormones?
is it me?
you should know how many times the tides of emotion have picked me up & thrashed & drowned me.
you should know how many times i have tried to share my love only to have it thrown back in my face, bruised & beaten.
you should know that i am not losing here,
that i would have given you everything,
that i would have lived & breathed & fought & died for you.
you should know what you have just lost.
these are the things that i can not tell you.
these are the things that i can not bare to say, for i haven't the heart, nor the strength.
these are the words & the thoughts that i have known time & time again.
you are simply another name on the list, a face in the crowd.
i too will live, but you will have to live forever knowing that no one will ever love you the way that i could have.