a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








burning sniol


hazy eyes, blurred vision. i know the stars are stretched out to infinity, beyond these tiny walls. clear mind, hostility & denial. it doesn't seem to matter. walking crooked, not quite there. it's hard to forget the feel of his hands on my stomach. lips pressed hard against mine, everything intertwined. everything. it's hard to forget.

the insides of me are swimming, reaching for the sky. azure and black, the sky. littered with twinkles, red, white, yellow, powder blue & pink, mauve, & foamy green. the sky so clear, eyes pierce through the thick heat of night, never quite comprehending infinity.

it is hard to forget, but the room spins ever so slightly as you shut your eyes. the thin fold of skin, tipped with tiny, beautiful eyelashes, cover the brown, the black, the white; eyes close. a slight woo of the body. i remember your hands sweeping my face, body. your mouth gentle on the nape of my neck.

i only need to remember the black pavement just beyond my doorstep. the miles of road. the heat, the wind, the sea & sand. i only need to remember that there is time yet. there is time yet.


written on 2004-06-09 at 11:04 p.m.

she / lost