Here's how it went. I sat down in the chair & Dr. Frye told me they were going to give me some gas. I panicked, so I asked him & the two assistants in the room to "please give me a minute I think I am going to vomit." So they leave & in my mind I am thinking, I can't fucking do this. I just can't. It's that simple. They are going to put me to sleep & I am going to piss in my pants or something, lose control of my body.. Never wake up. My heart was pounding & I really did feel nauseous.
Five minutes later they came back in. They all start coming in towards me like I was a specimen in a glass case, I hated the feeling. Dr. Frye asked, "Are you feeling any better?" I said, "No I really think I am going to be sick." He asked, "Are you ill or is it nerves?" I said, "It's nerves." So he says, "Okay I am going to give you a little medicine to sooth your nerves." Meanwhile he is preparing my arm for the IV & he sticks it in me. Mind you, I am sitting there waiting for this medication to "sooth my nerves."
Nope, that medication was non-existant. That's all I remember I tell you, I was out like a light. No count backwards from 100. No take a deep breath. Nothing, I was tricked, ployed, conned! Yes. Ehhh, but I'm glad for it. I woke up about 40 minutes later, I remember hearing them talking about a co-worker or something & then somebody said, "We are going to give you a little oxygen to wake you up." My head felt a little heavy & I was a little dizzy, but all in all, quite alright. So everyone left except one girl & she said she was going to take me into the recovery room, (which seemed more like a glorified broom closet to me, but whatever.) On the way over there, I was trying to look out into the waiting room & see my mom. The girl turned me away & said, "you're mom is going to be right in."
Then the girl left me & came back in a minute later with my mom. I started crying. The girl said, "Do you know why you're crying?" I said "no." She said, "Good" and turned to my mom, "Girls tend to do that when they wake up."
The next couple of days weren't so bad at all. Lots of sleeping, perkisets, sherbert, and pudding. Then the evening of Day Two all hell broke loose. I started getting this throbbing pain that shot from my tooth to my chin & then back up to my ear. It was as if someone stuck a knife blade into the side of my gum & was continually twisting it for hours on end. I cried, for the first time, out of pain. We made an appointment for the next morning because it was supposed to get gradually better, not worse. It turned out I had something called "dry socket." It's pretty much the worst possible thing that could ever happen to your mouth, pain wise. What happens is the blood clot does not form over the opening where your tooth was, so the entire jaw, gum, & nerve is left exposed. So they had to stick this medicated strip of clove oil in the dry socket. It stopped the pain almost immediately, but I have to keep going back every morning to have it changed. Let me tell you something, I never knew what clove oil was or even that there was such a thing as clove oil, but, I know now, and it tastes like absolute fucking shit! I've had it in my mouth now for the past 2 days & will continue to have it in my mouth until the dry socket heals. It's nasty, but it beats the throbbing pain, that kept me up for 34 straight hours.
I was supposed to start my new job, Thursday, but evidently that had to be put on hold, so I'll be starting sometime next week.
My parents are going away on a cruise in a of couple weeks & I am organizing a mini-fiesta for the occasion (like I did last time.) (Only this time I hope things stay under control...)
I am so bored though. I have been doing so much since school ended. Spending so much time going out with my friends & enjoying the summer. Since the surgery I've been trapped & it blows. I can't wait to be better.
Also, I wish my lazy-ass teachers would post my grades. One of them, my favorite, posted my grade a week ago! Now none of the others have posted a single one yet! Lazy fuckers..
written on 2004-05-22 at 4:05 p.m.
she / lost