& it's been a long december and there's reason to believe / maybe this year will be better than the last /
i can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself / to hold on to these moments as they pass
counting crows - long december
this girl, she's been threatening to kill herself for so long now. she just never knew that she was dying all along. taking in deadly breath after deadly breath of cold air. letting ice fill pink lungs. letting black fill pink lungs for the first time in a long time.
this girl, she doesn't make resolutions anymore. her hands are too cold. her heart & her mind are too numb now. resolutions are like hope, they're far away, as far away as they could be.
what hope is she clinging to? tell me because i know i am. i know i am clinging to some hope. & all i want to do is let go, but i can't.
written on 2004-01-01 at 1:19 a.m.
she / lost