a little bit of a resurrection
my life journal: cutmedown








plumas blancas


there is a hard wind blowing; moves through my veins like rolling thunder. pools of blood are clouding up my insides & it looks like it's going to storm. & it's that ever-present calm before the storm that is wearing me the fuck out.

i've been walking on this tight rope for so long now. can't remember what the ground feels like, not so sure that i want to. i always feel like i am one step away from falling. & the worst part of it all is that i am no longer afraid. i just don't have the balls to take that one wrong step. that's all it would take; then i could falter, float, & fade. fade, fade, fade away, i could fade away. i want it so badly.

i'm [this] close.


written on 2003-10-18 at 12:58 a.m.

she / lost