i do remember a time, when i could look up at the sky without fighting back tears.
it is so much worse than infinite loneliness. infinite loneliness shallows in comparison to my pain. to wear a crown of thorns, to fall three times, would be ecstasy next to my passion.
Lord I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed.
i need to get away from this pain. my legs are aching, my veins are swelling and throbbing and twitching in spasms of pain, unceasing pain. these legs will not hold out much longer. nor will my lungs. my heart is pumping more blood than my body can give it. i am gasping for breath. my chest is going to explode. i need to get away from this pain, but i do not no how much longer i can run.
i need to fly away, it's the only way. but it's impossible.
written on 2003-05-02 at 11:42 p.m.
she / lost